handling the death of a loved one well is a healthful and healing thing.  that’s why we have friends to wrap their arms around us and just be there for us, and sometimes say things to comfort us, some helpful, some not so helpful but mean well. thank God for friends.

the first major death of my life, my own father at age 35, me at age 15. there is some difference between managing death as a teenager and someone who manages death at, say age 40, 50, 60, 70, and beyond. for example it may be the first or second major death, or the 12th or 13th, a father, mother, spouse, or child.  however, it never gets any easier.

there is ample information on the internet and good books such as Kubler-Ross’, On Death and Dying, so i am not going to go through all that about stages of grief, etc. The only thing i really want to mention here is one spiritual dynamic, to wit, that death is a fact and will happen to all of us and our family members and friends and after a reasonable time period, realize that yes, it is over, and move on to a happy and fulfilled future without your loved one. oh, you say that may be a grotesque, unhealthful, and hateful thing to write, but i say unto you that when we face reality squarely and take the necessary time to understand reality, we can then learn to go forwar with out lives with the memories of our loved one, but not living daily in those memories which prohibit the future happiness.

so, if you have experienced the death of a loved one, and you probably have, whether it be in the distant past or recently, let me assure you as others have, that God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life as your life is not over ’til it’s over even though your earthly relationship with you loved one is over. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you both now and forevermore. amen.

“And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.” Jesus of Nazareth (Luke 20:34-36)

“And the seven left no offspring. Last of all the woman also died. In the resurrection, when they rise again, whose wife will she be? For the seven had her as wife.” Jesus said to them, “Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” Jesus of Nazareth (Mark 12:22-25)

“For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.” Paul of Tarsus (Romans 7:2)

 

© copyright 2014, 2020
Robert A. Haines, Chaplain Haines
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