Historically speaking, females were dependent on males, their providers. That’s just the way it was, and still is in some parts of the globe. In more progressive societies females have overcome and many now consider themselves equal to males and have also become providers, equal among men. With that said, there are some females, for whatever reason either cannot or will not pull their weight and thus are totally, or almost so, completely dependent upon males for their welfare. For some, it is a chosen way, but for others it is, again for whatever reason, an impossibile task.
Nowadays, the role has been reversed in some, and in fact many instances. For whatever reason(s), there are males who either choose to be dependent upon females, or they must because they cannot make it on their on. This is not to say that it is necessarily wrong or, religiously speaking, sinful. Some are, yes, bums. Others are good men and they may work hard, but there seems to be maybe some flaw within that causes them to fail, or if not totally fail, to fall short of being a provider. It’s just how it is. Not a problem usually, but it can become a huge obstacle in relationships.
Of course, the ideal is for both male and female to pull their equal weight as that is today’s status quo.  It doesn’t matter who makes the most money, or who works more hours. What matters is they both do their parts in providing for the welfare of themselves, their partners, and their families, if they have children.  (This is not to imply that a stay-at-home wife or mother is not pulling her own weight).
Now, for my point. If for some reason, either a female or male is the dependent type, there should be no cover up. He or she must recognize that they are the dependent one and admit it. Otherwise any relationship with a provider is, sooner or later going to turn sour. If there is some flaw or weakness, no matter, just own up to the fact that the other person is the primary bread winner and give him or her his or her due. Otherwise, a break up is bound to occur and it’s back to walking a rough road and depending on the gullible to provide, either the government or some relative who is going to take pity and provide a loan which will never be paid back, and that naive relative is going to keep giving until the indebtedness is so big that a payback will never occur.
So, now what? There is no now what. Just be honest about who you are and how you operate, appreciate the kindness and generosity of others and break out if possible to prove that you can overcome.
Finally, as to the dependents, some are, what I call the bouncers. Bouncers are those that bounce from one mate — relationship — to another and some are very keen to do it often. I’ve known some to bounce to and from 3 – 4 per annum.  I don’t know, maybe the provider isn’t providing enough and the dependent is in search of the best deal.
What’s really intriguing about some bouncers is that they think that somehow they deserve the good deals but when it’s a raw deal they want to blame the provider.
SMH, just when i knew all the answers to life, new questions pop up.
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© copyright Aug. 2016. Bob Haines
ALL RIGHT RESERVED